


The Kimi Whisperer

by Eknodine (Eknomind)



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Blackmail, Favours, Kimi is kind of a dick, M/M, Silly, micro gestures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 08:16:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7676953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eknomind/pseuds/Eknodine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valtteri surprisingly enough turns out to be the only one who can make any sense out of Kimi. Everyone wants a piece of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kimi Whisperer

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on something my English teacher (not a Finn) said. She believed that Finns seem so expressionless, because they actually use tiny micro gestures no one else can see. That's why she asked us to exaggerate our expressions since she could not read the micro gestures at all. (For example, Finnish nod of acknowledgment is something she could not see even if it was clear as a day to us)
> 
> Therefore it would make sense that Valtteri would be the only driver on the paddock to be able to read Kimi's moods at all. Also, that could be why Kimi seems so much more animated with Sebastian; he puts that extra effort so that Seb can follow his body language better. Or like, at all.   
> And yes, Finns do get some vibes from Kimi even if he is pretty expressionless even for a Finn.

“I just don’t get him,” Felipe said to Valtteri, “How can he keep his face straight like that through everything?”  
“Huh? I think it’s quite obvious that he’s frustrated,” Valtteri answered.  
“And how would you know? I spent _years_ with him. He’s cool as a fridge.”  
“As I said, it’s obvious.”  
Felipe shook his head. Just his typical luck to be paired with yet another cryptic Finn. Well, at least Valtteri talked. Kind of.

“Someone’s happy.”  
“Daniel is always happy, Valtteri.”  
“What? No Kimi. Kimi is happy.”  
“Have you been talking to him?”  
”No. It’s all over his face.”  
Felipe took another glance at Kimi. “It’s not. Are you reflecting on him?”  
It was Valtteri’s turn shake his head. “Go ask him. You’ll see.”  
“Like he’d tell me anything.”  
Valtteri pushed Felipe forward when Kimi finally got near them.  
“He likes you, just do it.”

Felipe hated the smug smile on Valtteri’s face.  
“So, you were right. How on earth did you do that?”  
“How on earth you guys don’t?” Valtteri answered. “I mean, it’s all over him. His posture, his face, everything. You’d need to be blind to not see that.”  
“Valtteri, his face is blank. I don’t think he even knows how to smile.” Valtteri laughed a little.   
“Or maybe it’s because you Latinos need everything to be flashy and dramatic?” Valtteri defended the glory of the Finns. “You lack finesse!”  
“Are saying that you lot are the sophisticated ones?”  
Valtteri faked thinking about it. “Yes.”  
“More like monosyllabic blocks of ice.”  
“And proud of it!” Valtteri giggled.

Valtteri blinked at the German standing in front of him. He had no idea what he had done to earn this audience from Sebastian, but he was quite flattered anyway. Sebastian, on the other hand, seemed pretty nervous about it.  
“I, um, heard from Dany, who heard from Dan, who heard from Felipinho who heard it from Felipe, who I guess heard it from you, that you can, um, read Kimi’s mood or something?”  
Valtteri was certain that the phrase wasn’t meant to be a question but had turned into one somewhere along the way out of the German’s mouth.  
“Sometimes.”  
“And?”  
Valtteri turned a bit to look at Kimi.  
“Disappointed.”  
Valtteri felt sorry for opening his mouth when he saw Sebastian’s shoulders drop. Poor guy looked like a deflated air balloon. He observed a bit longer. “In himself.”  
Sebastian brightened up immediately. “Great! I just thought… never mind, I’d better go talk to him!” Sebastian sprinted off leaving Valtteri staring after him utterly confused.

“What did Dany say to you?” Valtteri questioned before the Brazilian rookie in front of him could say a word.  
“Dany? No, it was Marcus. He heard it from Kevin who heard it from-“  
“I don’t really care who it was.”  
“He said you’re the Kimi whisperer!” Felipe said excitedly. Valtteri shot a death glare at the older Felipe.   
“I bloody hope he goes bald,” he huffed. “I do this and you owe me.”  
“How much?” Valtteri showed him his most evil smile.  
“You just owe me. Understood?” Felipe nodded eagerly.  
“Annoyed. I’d wait till after lunch if I was you. Better luck even if you wait an hour after that, looks sleepy.”

“ _Fernando_?” Valtteri asked, very surprised.  
“I heard you’re the Kimi whisperer.” Valtteri had his suspicions about the Spaniard’s motives.  
“Not telling you anything.”  
“I’d owe you. Think about it, I could buy you a yacht. Or you could spend a week at my villa with Emilia!”   
“No deal. You have nothing I’d want that badly.”  
“You’re probably a scam anyway,” Fernando spat at him.  
“And yet, here you are, begging.”

“You owe me.” Nico furrowed his eyebrows.  
“What?”  
“I tell you and you owe me.”  
“You’re weird.”  
“You’re snoopy.” Nico laughed and nodded.  
“Do your thing then.”  
Once more Valtteri turned to observe Kimi. Simultaneously Kimi was looking at _him_. Valtteri was certain he was as much of an open book to Kimi as Kimi was to him. Great, now he had to deal with Kimi asking for a share or risk going out of business. Kimi was a real business shark when he smelled an opportunity for easy favors.   
“Calm. Driven. Not safe to approach,” Valtteri said.  
“How am I supposed to use _that_?” Nico asked, annoyed.  
“If only you lot would tell me what you need the info for so that I could be more specific,” he answered. “I only told you what I saw. He’s forging an evil master plan if you asked me.” Valtteri stopped for a moment. “Not that anyone ever asked me.”  
Nico stepped a little closer. “What if I did?” Valtteri closed his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts.  
“Then maybe we could talk about my payment,” he whispered, Nico now being so close he almost forgot how to breathe. Nico laughed the way he always did, scrunching his nose.   
“Sure. Tonight?” Valtteri nodded, not trusting his mouth to behave. Nico left with the certain sway to his hips, leaving the Finn speechless and very, very blushed.

“How cute. The pair of you.” Valtteri turned around sharply, not noticing Kimi lurking in the shadows.  
“Fuck off Kimi.”  
“Don’t think so. As it seems you owe me for this little business of yours.” Valtteri sighed.  
“What do you want?”  
“For the fact that you are using me to get laid? Nothing. But my silence is a bit more expensive.”  
Valtteri gulped. He was screwed for sure. It had taken Kimi about two seconds to realise the entirety of his plans and even figure out his crush on Nico. He opted to simply nod.  
“Who?”  
“Seb, Nasr, Felipe, Ericsson, Hamilton-“  
“ _Hamilton?_ Now that’s interesting.”  
“Fernando tried. Told him to suksia vittuun.” Kimi laughed.  
“Pity. I would have liked to have a go with him for old time’s sake.” Valtteri stared at him.  
“Let me think about it. I want nothing from Felipe, I have everything from Seb-“   
At that point Valtteri blushed bright red.  
“Ericsson looks just as murderous as you do, you deserve each other. But Hamilton… Yes, whatever Nico’s precious Lewlew owes you belongs to me. Are we clear?”  
Valtteri sighed. “Like I had any other option.”  
“It’s settled then. Make sure he knows.”  
Valtteri just stared after Kimi. Nico had better be worth the trouble.


End file.
